Swedlow Central

Grateful to My Great Grandparents

Today is the Sunday after a week post the October 7th massacre of Israelis (Jews and non-Jews) by Hamas and we are in the middle of so much pain that we cannot comprehend all that happened and is happening. The world is on edge because of this and the Ukrainian war. Anybody really paying attention to all of this is hurting for all those Jewish lives lost and the lives of Palestinians who are in the middle now that Israel is going in to get Hamas. I can’t imagine what sheer horror the Israelis went through seeing their loved ones get tortured or set on fire or raped or beheaded (is this really true – nobody seems to know) slaughtered or or all of the above. And, what state are the hostages in? Are they being tortured, too? Killed in front of their families? What about those little babies and toddlers being handled by the terrorists while others were killing their parents in the kibbutz? What will they do with them? What about the Palestinians? They are dying, too. This is outrageous!

We are safe here in San Francisco and America…for how long? I am grateful to my great grandparents who had the foresight to get the hell out of Belarus or Ukraine or wherever they were to come to America. They were courageous and smart to leave. Being here, my family escaped the horrors of the Holocaust and now have avoided the tragedy going on now.

But, are we really safe and is the world safe? The Ukrainian situation is putting us on the knife of total destruction. The situation in the Middle East is also putting us on the knife of total destruction. What about flying? They don’t seem to care about death.

There is so much hatred everywhere. So many protests in the streets calling for Death to Israel and Kill All the Jews. So many Jews are angry, but we’re deeply confused because we generally don’t want to support Palestinian deaths, too, so we’re angry and suffering about that, as well. Nobody believes us. All they see is what the military is doing. Netanyahu has really blundered.

I was always taught that we need to find a way to live with the Palestinians in peace.

Today is Yom Kippur 2021

Today is the day that we remember our lost loved ones and think about important things like life and death, love and suffering.

Definitely missing my dad, Gerry Swedlow, and also wish my grandparents were here today. There are so many things I’d like to hear them talk about and hear their opinions on all this mishigos we’re going through (e.g. the pandemic).

It’s interesting how we reach an age when we really value what we have lost. When we’re kids and especially teenagers we think it’s going to go on forever and our parents and grandparents will be there forever.

My dad had a lot of gravitas and was a serious guy who was wise, but he was also very funny and liked to joke around (see above). He had a love of life and always found time to joke around. He certainly faced more than his fair share of stress and sadness, but today (on this serious day) I’m choosing to remember him being silly.

I miss and love you Dad!!

Also missing my grandparents.

Gerry’s Meshpucha!

Thought I’d add a little video I made for Dad’s Father’s Day 2008 remembering when Hannah was born August 2, 2007. Missing him.  Mom looks great!  Everybody’s happy.

It Could Happen to You

My mother told me yesterday that my dad and her favorite song is “It Could Happen to You” sung by Frank Sinatra. Thought I’d link to this dreamy music here:

My dad passed away April 25, 2017.

1 Year Anniversary of Dad’s Death

Warm summer afternoon in Columbus, Ohio, right behind the Kahiki in Napoleon Court, my dad and me playing on the lawn. I miss you, Dad.

Today is Mom & Dad’s 57th Wedding Anniversary

So, it’s my parents wedding anniversary today: March 19, 2018. Obviously, my mother is celebrating it on her own.  We miss you, Dad! This photo was taken in 2016.

There are many stories about their wedding back in 1961. Here are some stories I remember at the moment:

• They met on a blind date. When the men arrived at the sorority house, my mom went up to the wrong guy and said: “If we’re going to the race track, we’re betting with your money because I don’t have any.” That guy pointed to my dad and said “It’s him!” Once they coupled up, from what she told me, they “got lost” on their way to the race track (Scioto Downs) on its opening day and so they had a lot of time to talk. I believe they fell in love right away. I think there is more to that story.
• Dad was still at law school and my mother at university at Ohio State.
• Marriage took place in Springfield, Ohio with a full set of bridesmaids and grooms.
• My mother still has her wedding dress, which didn’t fit any of her 3 daughters as it was size 5 or something. It had a very long train and was made with lace and silk. I think my grandmother was involved in the making of it as they were poor.
• The synagogue was Reform of mostly German dissent, so my Russian Jewish grandparents on my Dad’s side were horrified that nobody was wearing yarmulkes (kipas). I think there was some broohaha about that.
• They went on their honeymoon to Nassau, Bahamas.  Super cute photos of them exist with touristy straw hats and bags and one sitting on a cannon.

Uncle Terry Eulogized Dad

This is a picture of my dad with Hannah in 2014.

The anniversary of my dad’s death (April 25, 2017) is almost upon us. Hi great and oldest friend, “Uncle Terry”  – also a great man and well-respected radiologist – beautifully eulogized him at the funeral with the following memories and thoughts….

Thanks Uncle Terry!

—

Gerry Swedlow was a lucky man. He had enormous LOVE in his life. First, his parents, Ann & Morris Swedlow, who nurtured, taught and loved him totally and with much pride. The Swedlow’s gave Gerry 2 loving brothers, Bobby & David, who have stayed his best friends for a lifetime. These three boys developed a warm loving family that has stayed very close, as seen here today.

Then HE met his beautiful, intelligent, red head, JUDIE MEYER at OSU, THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE. They had been married 56 years this past March. His WORLD WITH JUDIE was ALL he ever wanted. Within a few years his life was filled with more love: three intelligent, creative, adventurist, and innovative little girls, Tracy, Pam and Bea, Debbie to us.

These three women brought him love and great pride, along with their mates, Richard, Scott and Barb. His heart was full of love. What more could a man want and/ or be surrounded by. THEN came MICHAEL, HANNAH and JOEY. Now, THAT was another level, Grandchildren who loved and adored him unconditionally. He was back in his element. Gerry loved children and was THE very best Father and Grandfather.

I met Gerry, in Junior High school when his family moved to Bexley. His Father was my Fathers accountant and they played golf together. I was in the 8th grade and Gerry was in the 7th. I lived on S. Roosevelt Ave and he lived on S. Remington Rd. We would meet on Powell Ave and would walk to school together.

In the summers, we went to Cassingham playground, playing chess, checkers, softball and basketball. He was always good under the basket! Plus, Gerry was an excellent chess player. Then, we would ride our bikes to the Excelsior Club to swim all afternoon. While we were in high school, we began going up to Frankfort, Mi, for a week each summer to just “hang out” on the beach. Party all night and sleep all day. We did this for probably 3 or 4 years.

In fact, years later, we took our families to Frankfort for a summer vacation.

After Bexley High school, we entered Ohio State, we were ZBT’s together, and then it was Law school for Gerry. That’s when he met HIS Judie. He courted her and they were married in Springfield, Ohio. I was in their wedding, and he was in ours. They then headed off to the Air Force, in France.

We ended up living and raising our family’s one door apart on Merkle Road. As a Father, Gerry was the BEST. He loved the games, would read books to his girls, always took family home movies and taught them to ski.

In fact, we bought a boat together and our families would picnic and learned to water ski together, but only after OUR 7:30 am Sunday morning golf game. We were partners in most of the golf tournaments, even won once! We started the “Golf Guys” and he wrote a weekly report on the action. I think Judy still has some of those letters. Later on, the “Golf Guys” took trips to various golf resorts. Gerry went on every trip, followed by a humorous letter with an accounting résumé.

Gerry also had an accounting degree, as well as law. As a Lawyer, Gerry was known as the top real estate man in the city. His fellow lawyers would turn to Gerry for advice. He was respected, conscientious and reliable. He had a remarkable memory for facts and events.

As couples and families we had numerous good times. Boating at Hide Away Hills, Passover at our home, where Gerry dressed up as Elijah. Bexley Fourth of July floats, that were always built in the Swedlows’ driveway. All of our families walked the parade dressed as clowns. We traveled, as couples and enjoyed many happy occasions.

This is a very HARD day for Nancy and me as Gerry was our best friend. Good-by to OUR OLD friend, you will be missed but we will NEVER forget all the happy times we spent together. Love you, Gerry.

The Great Gerry Swedlow

My father was definitely a “Great” person. He walked into a room and his personality was very palpable like a Khan, a King, a Caesar, or a Great Man. He didn’t dominate out of a need to overpower people, however. He dominated because he had gravitas, was witty, intelligent, trustworthy, and able to make complicated decisions quickly. He never said more than was necessary. He was a leader like Frank Sinatra, but not a scary Frank Sinatra. He was also known for making complex calculations in his head (e.g. golfing scores) among many other things.  In fact, his golfing (“Golf Guys”) and poker buddies called him their “Czar.”

Here he is at our conference, The TV of Tomorrow Show http://tvotshow.com, in 2014.  I was thrilled he was there. He also spent time with Hannah taking her on a handsome cab ride in the park like he took me when I was 17.

FASHION: He always wore Brooks Brothers trench coats, button-down shirts, ties, good traditional brown or black tie-up leather shoes, and hats. On the weekends, he wore golf shirts and pants or his lounging robe in the house. He was always clean and immaculately groomed! He did occasionally wear saddle shoes, funny ties and special themed t-shirts that his daughters or grandkids bought for him.

RADIATION: When he was sick with cancer, however, his ability to do all these things declined, but he still put on a jacket, tie etc. to go to work up right until the end. The radiation really made his neck red and sore and made it excruciatingly painful to try and sleep. It also was hard to shave so patches of his skin had bare hair tufts sticking out. He really bore all these indignities with great courage, strength and a sense of humor most of the time unless the pain was too much to bear and I hear he did moan in bed a little because his skin was so sore.

He really dealt with all the pain and aggravation of 2 major surgeries (lung being removed and a tumor removed in his brain and many radiation treatments multiple times per day and almost every day for weeks) with GREAT COURAGE and a sense of humor. Talk about setting an example.

He Loved Shrimp – by Gerry Swedlow

“I can tell the quality of a party by the amount of cold shrimp.”  – 10/5/91

— Gerry Swedlow

Dad/Gerry’s Favorite Foods

Found a type-written note to myself that recorded my father’s favorite foods. I must have asked at some point in the past. Here’s what it said as typed:

PECAN PIE
w/ice cream

BIG SHRIMP
cold for h’ordeurves

COLESLAW

ONION SOUP
w/lots of cheese on top

RIBS
baby back – Broadmoor Market
Mom has recipes

ONION RINGS

BERRIES

Anne Dropkin Swedlow

Grandma had a lust for life, which you can see in this photo. She loved exercise, teaching and her students, theater, being Jewish, being American, Yiddish music and Broadway, and her family. Her 3 boys gave her a huge challenge as they were all super smart and much more educated, eventually. I think they were a bit rough on her. I loved spending time with her and felt she was truly a good person. I never saw her be bad or lie or be mean. I never saw one wrinkle on her smiling face.

She loved to laugh and hear details about what I was doing. I always tried to shock her with new ideas. She made the best Grandma Anne’s Cannonball Matzoh Ball soup ever. She tried to teach me Yiddish occasionally, but I never quite remembered it all. I remember seeing a photo of President Franklin D. Roosevelt on the wall even when she was in her 70’s. One thing I remember is that she carried a million small purses that zipped in her larger purse – everything was grouped into these pockets of organization. It drove me crazy how she’d unzip them all looking for her keys. Now, as an adult, I completely understand the logic of having little purses inside the larger purse, but I didn’t have the appreciation of it then. Sometimes, one small purse would break. If that happened, she would tie a lot of thin rubber bands around it to hold it together, which drove me crazy. I had no understanding that this woman had gone through the Depression and the War scrimping and saving and never throwing things away just because one could. My Grandma Hazel and Grandpa Joe, on my mother’s side, were the same way, but even more fastidious. My generation doesn’t appreciate what they went through because we’ve grown up in a culture of plenty and one of mass consumerism.  I spend a lot of time, for example, staring at all my stuff and dreaming about how I can get rid of it because I have too much crap. It’s hard to make decisions about what to get rid of and what to keep, so one keeps putting it off and then things accumulate again.  I just spent a lot of time helping my sisters clean out my mother’s house so she could sell it now that she’s moving into assisted living in Columbus, Ohio. It was a huge job because she collected stuff and never threw things out.

Grandma Anne, eventually, succumbed to Alzheimer’s at the Wexner Heritage Center. I used to visit her once a month. I was lucky to get a full-time job in San Francisco, where I was living, as Multimedia Editor at Multimedia World magazine in the 90’s. Part of that job was to fly to Columbus, Ohio, of all places, to work on a multimedia CD they put out as a supplement to the magazine. It was beshert (Yiddish for “meant to be”)! I wasn’t afraid of flying back then, so I was incredibly grateful that I could fly in and spend time with her and my parents and sisters. I didn’t spend enough time with her, though, as she wasn’t very present mentally. One very strong memory is when I brought in a tape cassette player and a cassette of old Broadway and Yiddish music and played them for her. She brightened up immediately and hummed along! I’m so glad we were able to spend time together.  Eventually, some scumbag stole her wedding and engagement ring there because they could and she was unable to do anything about it. My parents decided that they couldn’t really do anything about it and that that person must have needed it more. I didn’t like that explanation, but had to accept it. Anyway, my mother, who was not her daughter, used to be her caretaker and did her laundry. My mother said that my grandmother died in her arms and how weird it was to be at someone’s moment of death and what a privilege it was. I imagine all this in my head like some classical painting from the 16th or 17th Century with dramatic cold lighting.

Speaking of being there when someone has just died: I was the first person to see that my father was dead on his bed at the hospice. He was very still. I’ll never forget it.

What matters most? I think it is spending time with one’s children, one’s family, doing things for people, media (like this), art of all kinds and the memories we carry with us and inscribe on public surfaces for more people to read and be inspired to do the same for themselves.

Vibrant, alive grandparents and my dad, Gerry, on a beach somewhere probably in the late 30’s or early 40’s? Where’s the Gerry Swedlow frozen smile?  🙂  Grandpa Morris has that cigarette in his hand, which eventually killed him. Grandma Anne loved exercise and especially walking. She tried to motivate me to love it, but it passed me by at the time. Good-looking group.

The House on Remington

This is where my grandparents, Anne and Morris, raised Gerry, Bobby and David, the three Swedlow brothers. Gerry is the oldest. Bobby is the middle child and David is the youngest. I’ll have to talk about them another time.

Anyway, this house is on Remington Road in Bexley, a little city-within-a-city leafy enclave surrounded by Columbus, Ohio. Bexley was not quite built out during the 1950’s from what I was told by my father, Gerry. This house is about a block or so away from the main public elementary school, Cassingham and its attending Bexley Junior and Bexley High School buildings, which take over several blocks of land. All three brothers went to Bexley schools. My grandparents moved here from Boston when my dad was 8. My dad told me it was a wonderful place to grow up in the 1950’s. The white stones you see in the photo, below, are commonly found adorning many houses in Bexley: I’m not sure what they are. Overall, houses in Bexley lean towards an English aesthetic, which probably has something to do with the fact that it’s named after the original Bexley, an eastern borough of London in the UK.

Gerry in Good Form

Anne & Morris Swedlow – 1930’s?

Our grandparents were so dashing.

Gerry & Tracy Swedlow in Columbus

I love this photo of my father and myself. I think I remember it: I can feel the wicker between my hands and little pinafore dress elastic on my legs. I remember my father placing this little chair in the warm, fresh summer grass and climbing up into it. Or, I think I remember. My dad was a pretty loving cool dude.

Gerry and His “Easy” Processed Food

Gerry Swedlow loved his “easy” Jimmy Dean processed food and ketchup….The video rights itself as soon as you press the play button. Nobody ever said he kept Kosher!

Happy Grandpa Morris

Thought Grandpa Morris’ face should be our family icon. What do you think? I think this was at Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio.  Not sure of the year. It was taken on a Polaroid camera.

Gerry & Judie Swedlow

So much love for these people. Gerry and Judie. Miss you Dad!